Who I Was Born To Be

Every now and then, there will be a song I'll listen to that will make me put my life on pause.  That very instance happened this evening on my way home from work when a friend searched through the cd's in my car and put in Susan Boyle's.  Eventually, it found its way to "Who I Was Born To Be".  I listened to it over and over and as I'm writing this, I'm listening to it again on You Tube (I wish they had a repeat button).  That song says it all and it showed up at a time when I had my own life on pause, wondering about a friend who's close to my heart.  I've had these wonderings for quite some time and in the matter of it, I was searching for peace.  I guess things are meant to show up in their own space and time, for tonight, what came to me was freeing.  The only thing that changed was the thought I had.  Our thoughts are really that powerful.  It was a thought on May 24th last year that prompted me to turn my life around and that thought stayed with me on every journey I took both around the lake and on all my trips around the streets of downtown.  Tonight, I am ready to give up those downtown walks, recognizing that I have lost my weight with their help, but more importantly, I can let go of what walking downtown really meant to me.  Freedom brings peace.  Tonight, I can breathe that in.  That's not to say you will never find me on Water St. flying by, it simply means I can choose more powerfully now, or at least more mindfully.  That's the thing about learing these things about yourself.  All the answers don't come at once.  I think I walked hundreds and hundreds of times looking for the answer to what was on my mind and tonight, I found it, or as I like to say more powerfully, that answer found me.  It came in the stillness of the moment over dinner tonight with a special friend, one who was very happy to be a friend and to listen repeatedly to what has been on my mind for quite some time.  Now, I have the added pleasure of losing all that weight.  I never thought that a stormy ride home could be so wonderful.  As I end this note, I will remind you of the towering words of Susan Boyle..."and though I may not know the answers, I can finally say I am free, and if the questions led me here...I am who I was born to be."